Inner Light
by xxxMs.Mexxx
Summary: It was the Fate's will to find the person for her but she had never expected Him to show her the way into James Potter's arms. Looking for his twin soul James prayed that she might be the one, after all he's loved for 3 years...1 SHOT.


**Hi there guys, this here is a ff I just felt the urge to write. I've recently read three very god romances that concerned faith and trust. I just wanted to get it off my chest with this one shot story.**

**I know a lot of people aren't of the Christian faith and some of you aren't really religious. I myself have hardly been to church these past few years but it's what I believe. **

**This fan fiction may be hypocritical of me because after all I do write R rated stories but I wanted to write this. I started it less than two hours ago on a whim, I hope you like the content.**

**Thank you.**

**Sasha**

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**Inner Light**

Thinking in silence never does her any good. Lily Evans knows that for sure. She would rather sit in deep thought surrounded by her friends because she knew whenever she was alone her thoughts would turn to him.

_Him. _

The subject of her wayward thoughts for more than six months, he—the ruffled hair boy who, before last year irritated her to her very soul. She had sometimes prayed to God to wipe away all this hatred she had for him but what she hadn't expected was for the hatred to be replaced by something she would not even consider to be possible.

She would not have thought her feelings would do a complete 180 on her and make her actually like him. The worse part for her to accept was seeing him everyday. Of course in the first six years of school she could ignore him whenever she pleased now since he was her partner in leadership to the entire school body and had to talk to him everyday she couldn't move an inch without seeing him.

Not that she even gave a glimpse of her inner struggle to him. She somehow thought that he would turn her own feelings against her. At least that's what she had been telling herself for weeks. If she was honest with herself she would recognise that James was not the same person she once knew but she couldn't…then. Now, however was different.

Okay she knew that she never actually _knew_ him personally but from what she gleamed from his personality the three months of working with him closely she sensed that he had somehow clamed down a bit. Of course she prayed every night to the Lord that He bless her with good decision making skills because she had two minds when it came to James Potter. Should she trust the person he had come to be—the one known now to her—or the one she knew years ago—the one who turned her wardrobe pink for telling him to shut up and stick to stick his wand where the sun didn't shine, mainly up his butt.

She abhorred pink; it was a colour of the world yet she could never bring herself to wear it, besides that it totally clashed with everything that was her. She'd already apologized to the heavens above to forgive her for her malicious thoughts. Settling more in the soft cushiness of the single sofa by the fire she traced the outline of her bible.

It was very dear to her. Her mother had given it to her when she died and Lily kept it very close to her heart because she knew the bible and the Lord were her mother's strength when she found out about her illness.

Her older sister shied away from the church after the tragic incident that took their mother's life but Lily had embraced it. Her mother's teachings were true and always stuck to her mind. Their stepfather was very kind to them and paid for Lily to stay on at Hogwarts.

He wasn't a pastor but he knew the strength one can glean from utter peace. Lily would forever be grateful to the guidance Malachi Daniel had brought to her family. It was because of him she had waited for God to show her the way to her true love. She was sure He would guide her down a pathway of happiness all she had to do was trust in him. She never really had a boyfriend here at Hogwarts, it seemed trivial to her to be running around with boys in Hogsmede when there was so much to be done.

So much evil in the world was about and they had to bind together to fight and drive away the evil that was threatening to consume them. She was startled from her thoughts of helping to drive away the evil that will harm the precious people of the muggle world by the person who had been in her thoughts earlier.

She really didn't need to see him to know it was him as he entered the portrait hole in a steady but slow gait. He hadn't yet seen her and she took the time to really look at him. She knew his features for they were imprinted on her mind for a while now. He looked deep in thought about something and she could see the firm line of his smooth jaw as he traced it with his forefinger.

His untamed hair was still ruffled but they had an endearing quality that she wanted to refuse to accept. Lily didn't know why but somehow she felt this inner connection to him. She had not realised it before because she honestly hadn't wanted to. This couldn't be the person the Lord would choose for her. He knew how she felt about him past and present.

But how did she really feel towards him? She questioned herself as if she hadn't gathered the answer already. The fire crackled and popped and he looked up and saw her. He had caught her staring at him. But there was no arrogant smile. No smug satisfaction of finally getting her attention after so many years of perusing her. He just stood there and looked at her.

She knew this was unknown territory for her. After all when had she ever asked a boy to do anything as intimate as sitting with her and certainly she had never once entertained the idea of asking James Potter to do so but she had to gather her courage. She could feel this settling of peace on what she decided and knew it was the right thing. After all it was time she admitted the truth anyway. How could she deny it?

She loved James Potter.

…

James knew what he had to do, well almost. How could he do any convincing when he was unsure on how to proceed? His grandmother's letter earlier today had given him cause to think. He really needed to come to terms with is feeling before they burn him from the inside.

His grandmother's words were: _have faith my child for the Lord will make a clear pathway for you. You will know it once you believe that He will come through for you. If she is the one that will be your twin soul then he will surely be there to point it out to you. Always have faith my dear grandson. My mother was muggleborn and she never steered me wrong. I am hear now to tell you that I will steer you to the Lord and he will give you the peace you have been searching for. Just trust in him._

James knew about faith. He knew his had been broken when his parents had been killed. He had been just over eight but his grandmother brought him back to live with her. And after these first few years she had finally convinced him that the Lord works in mysterious ways and He knows what right and what's wrong. Events happened for a purpose, to serve some cause and he believed her.

His best mate Sirius could not really understand the change in him. He had his own demons to face and he was not ready to hear what anyone had to say about faith. James understood now why he was always craving for attention from others, why he felt the need to show his affection for the one girl he really had feelings for by tormenting her and driving her literally insane with stupid comments.

He knew no way to actually be himself. On his last trip home James felt the need to confide in his grandmother about this girl who haunted his dreams. The girl—that was so different from any other girl he had ever known. He also admitted to his grandmother that he had known a lot. James knew without his grandmother telling him that they had all been a substitute for the real thing.

He had already asked for forgiveness in using them—sure he never slept with them but he did use them to soothe his soul. This past five months he had been in such calm serenity that he knew he had made the right choice. It was when he had first found out that he was partnered with her as head prefect that he wondered if the Lord really wanted them to be together.

He didn't know, he'd had always thought of Lily Evans as being out of reach, which was why he pursued her so relentlessly. After three months of working together he learned new depths of her that he had never known. Walking into the common room he was still thinking about his grandmother's words.

The fireplace crackled and popped and then he saw her. It was as though he had conjured her up from his thoughts.

**_Her_**.

The one who he had been dreaming of loving for three years. She was staring at him. He didn't really understand the look on her face, as she looked him. Was she angry with him again for some reason? These three months he had tried to be himself around her, half hoping that she would see the real him. Of course he had also opted against getting her mad, it worked. They talked more than they ever did for six years, though the only subject was about the school the contentedness gave him hope.

'James?' he heard her call. He struggled on keeping his emotions low. Lily had never called him by his first name before.

'Yes?'

'I-err-would you like to sit with me?' she asked softly.

_Okay buddy, calm down. She just asked you to sit with her. It's no big deal._

'I'd like that.' He walked over to where she was. There was no space next to her but there was a twin chair right next to hers and he sat on it.

There was silence for a few moments, neither one was speaking but he felt that this was a beginning of something. There was feeling he was getting. She wanted to talk to him. He wouldn't rush her. It was too important not to drive her away.

'Do you pray?' Lily asked suddenly and softly. It was a question he wasn't expecting.

'Not until recently, no but' he answered truthfully, 'my grandmother encouraged me to not too long ago. She helped me work out my demons from my past.'

'She sounds like a great lady.' And he heard the sincerity in her voice.

'Corrine Potter is; she is of the greatest ladies I have ever known.' He said with such reverence that she looked at him.

'I know what you mean, my mother was one as well.'

'Was?' he asked although he sensed the answer.

'She died when I was eleven.'

'I didn't know that.' He answered. He never knew that, as far as he knew no one did.

'Not many people do but those who do knew she was the best.'

'I see.'

'Yes.'

'Do you pray?' he asked repeating the question she had asked him earlier.

'I do, my mother died but I held on to my faith, she encouraged me too.' She said and glanced down. It was a bible. He didn't ask but she answered as if reading his mind. 'It was hers she gave it to me before she died.'

He didn't pry. James only listened.

'I pray a lot about finding something. You see my mother once told me that if you trust in God he will lead you down the true path and if you trust him with your heart he will find the most suitable person for you to share it with. That's what I've been praying for my twin soul.' She said.

_Twin soul._

James didn't speak; he couldn't not after what she had just told him. He was searching as well. Had God really led them to each other?

Oh he hoped so. He loved her.

'I know what you mean,' he said after a while. 'I've done some praying on that level as well.'

'And what did you find out?'

'That loving cannot be helped if God gives you a gentle push in the right direction.'

She nodded and when it seemed like forever she turned back to him. 'I've been fighting this for a few months, mainly because I've never wanted to admit it to anyone let alone myself but tonight I could seem to stop the conclusion I've reached. I need to speak the truth to you and I hope you will not take this lightly.'

'I won't.' he said quietly.

'I've never done this before but I have to follow the Lords will. I must tell you that I love you. I think it was about two months ago that I really started to admit it to myself but you see, you aren't supposed to be likeable let alone the man I'm supposed to love for the rest of my life. I'm seventeen years old, I thought he would come one day after Hogwarts and we'll have a fulfilling life together. Truthfully I've never really expected you to be the one, never.' She said and after a while James could feel his heart race. He almost jumped up to yell _Thank you oh God at the top of his lungs._

Coming off his chair he kneeled at her feet and took her hands in his and looked into her startled eyes.

'For three years I've been secretly pining away for you but it was only last year I realised how deep my feelings ran. I love you too Lily Evans and I'll keep on loving you. I've been praying to make sure you were the one I would keep beside me. I've prayed that God would see you as the one to make me happy and I'm so contented he did.' He said earnestly and noticed a small river of tears flowing form her eyes.

Taking his thumbs he wiped them off. 'Shhh, I didn't mean to make you cry.'

'You didn't, oh James I was so afraid I would make a fool of myself.'

'You shouldn't have been I know I've given you cause to doubt my sincerity but I really do love you.'

She sniffed hard. 'I believe you.' She said and wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him.

_Home_.

Her arms were the feeling of home.

'I want to kiss you Lily.' he whispered in her ear.

'I want you to kiss me.' She replied shyly looking up to his face.

When his lips met hers he knew his faith in God would never waver again.

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**Thank you to whoever reads this.**

**I hope you review.**


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